Value... you have it.

                Dressed up, paraded around for your looks and the experience you may or may not have sexually.  Does this kind of life sound promising?  Does it seem like the type of life that would help you to become emotionally and mentally satisfied?  Do you want to be known solely by your outward appearance?  Of course not!  Can you imagine the havoc that that causes to your self-esteem?  To have a healthy self-concept, you must feel fulfilled; you must feel valuable and important.  Trafficked victims have none of this.  Who do they really matter to, their pimps?  No.   To the people that keep them enslaved they are nothing more than merchandise, just as they are to the people that purchase their “services.”

                Ugh.  This is disgusting to think about.  I worry about the thousands of women and children that are exploited every day.  They are purchased based upon their looks.  If they aren’t appealing enough, they can’t make money for their enslavers.   If they can’t make money, they aren’t any good.  I hate to think about what happens to a girl once she is no longer useful, once she no longer has monetary value.  I hate to imagine the kind of pressure that creates. 

Imagine being one of them, feeling so degraded by what you are being forced to do, having your life reduced to nothing more than retail.  Eventually, there probably is not much left of your own self-worth, your dignity is gone.  At this point, how many girls actually feel valuable?

It is here that I start to cry.  Sometimes, I just feel bad about myself.  I feel fat, ugly, unintelligent, and just plain unattractive.  But I’m sure these girls try to feel nothing at all.  And that’s what breaks my heart.  While I may struggle with self-esteem, I still have my dignity.  I value myself, because I know that above all, the Lord values me.  Who is there to tell the girls that they are valued too?

So, to all of you beautiful women (and men) out there that struggle with self-esteem, with feeling worthy, with being enough, “you were bought at a price” (1 Corinthians 6:20… look it up).  When Jesus was nailed to that cross, he didn’t go because of any wrong doing on his part, but on ours.  He took our shame and nailed it up there with him. 

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we love God, but that he loves us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (John 4: 9-10).

Moral of the Story: God loves and values you. Remember that.

Pictures of the last week and a half

Day 17: I think this is from Day 17.  I'm really not sure, I've gotten so far behind in my picture taking.  I borrowed these tights from beautiful Maggie.  Again.

Day 18: Jacket and leggings courtesy of Maggie.

Day 19: This time, the pants are mine.  Oh yeah. Camo, you know you're jealous.

Day 20: Clothes from Kira! Yay for new clothes! (only the shirt and scarf)  the dress is MINE.

Day 21:  FRIDAY!  That vest-looking thing is actually the same scarf from above.  YAY for creativity!  I also went home this day.  I needed to go home.

Day 22: I sanded kitchen cupboards this day.  I did not wear this outfit though.  For working with messy things I flipped the dress inside out and wore sweatpants.  I miss sweatpants. (P.S. The belt/scarf is from Kira)

Day 23:  Riding back to Athens day.  Boo. I hate this day.  But I love the belt Kira lent me.  It has a flower on it.  I'm seriously running out of interesting things to say about my life.

Day 24:  Wow, its a new look.  I tucked the dress into my pants.  I'm branching out. Scarf is Kira's.

Day 25: Another scarf from Kira.  The last two days I didn't want to be creative.  So different scarves still count as changing up the outfit.

Day 26:  Wednesday.  Another day wearing the dress as a skirt.  Neato.

P.S.  I'm gonna try to post pictures of the puppies soon.  But soon could mean tomorrow, and it could mean a month from now. 

Fighting Back

What can I, as a college student, do to help combat slavery? 

Honestly, I think the best thing to do is stop labeling yourselves and others. I am a poor college student, they are poor slaves.  Instead, ask: What can I, as a human being, do to help stop the enslavement of others?

I'm not asking people to put on boxing gloves and start swinging. I'm not even asking you to go into sketchy neighborhoods and steal skantily clad women and girls off the streets (because that's creepy).  There's no need to turn into some angry Dad (*cough cough* TAKEN) and rush around the world killing people (that's not your job).  I just want people to start THINKING.  And, as the majority of my readers are college students, I don't think that would be terribly challenging.

I'm just tired of everyone's seemingly apathetic attitude. People claim to be "passionate" about certain issues, but they do not actively demonstrate this passion. I don't know about my readers, but I spend an inappropriately large amount of time on the internet.  I hate the strange consuming power that the internet has over me, and I'm desperately trying to cut back.  While wasting time on the internet, like many of my fellow students are prone to do, I have found that a lot of people can complain, but few people do anything about problems in this world that bother them.

For that reason, I continued my internet surfing with a new purpose in mind, to find ways to fight back against sex trafficking.  While searching, I came across this website...

http://www.gracehavenhouse.org/how-to-help/24-fight-human-trafficking/

To briefly sum up this article, you can fight slavery, and demonstrate your passion for an issue by:

1. Educating Yourself
2. Educating Others
3. Volunteering with Organizations
4. Refusing to buy products made by the hands of forced laborers
5. Praying

And here is my weekend in clothes....

Day 14:  Friday night I went to a dance show (hence the pose) and then had a fun night with friends.  Thanks again to Maggie for the tights.

Day 15: Homecoming Game Day!!!  The dress is mostly hidden under the jersey, but you can see it peeking out underneath.  I had oodles of fun and was busy ALL day.  I met up with several friends participating in "One Dress" and got some great pictures (to be posted later).

Day 16: This is how I spent my Sunday.  I am completely ashamed of my lazy attitude.  Absolutely nothing was accomplished. 

The Funk

Sometimes, I just feel discouraged. I get upset and feel like my relationship with God is not growing with the same intensity that it normally does.  I feel moody, depressed, and in general, icky.  This is what I like to call, "the funk."  That inescapable place, that hole in the ground that is starting to cave in around you... it's heavy and incredibly unpleasant. 

I've been having a really difficult time spreading the word about my "project."  I've only had one or two people (other than close friends) ask me why I'm wearing the dress.  And honestly, I've been rather shocked.  Not only have people not noticed as much as I hoped they would, but they seem uninterested when I give them my reasons.  They seem to respond with a Oh, that's interesting or I've heard that before.  But that's it.  No one says, What can I do? And this level of apathy is starting to get to me. 

For these reasons, I have started to blame myself, have begun doubting my convictions, and I've just been in a bad mood.  As a result, I was drowning in these feelings of hopelessness.

Well, as of Tuesday, I had not been successful in escaping "the funk."  However, things started to turn around before Crosswalk last night.  I had a great quiet time, I had a lovely evening of praise, prayer, and fellowship, and I was beginning to emotionally calm down.

I started reading Hebrews 10 last night. Verses 35 and 36 say, So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 

I then said to myself, Self, put on your confidence pants and stop being so pitiful, keep on truckin' and God will help you work everything out.

Soon after, I got on to facebook and saw that my friend Danielle Hale, from here at OU, completed her newspaper article about the project.  I, of course, had to repost it.  Within the hour, my facebook homepage and wall were covered in loving comments and shares with requests to read and repost.  I had never felt so loved and supported.  It really warmed my heart to know that so many people DO care about the terrible-ness that is human trafficking.

And, in even better news, today in my dance class three girls asked me why I've been wearing the same dress everyday.  I almost cried in excitement.

Needless to say, I consider myself successfully out of "the funk."

Here is a link to the newspaper article:

http://speakeasymag.com/campus-buzz/students-participate-in-one-dress-one-month-to-raise-awareness-of-human-sex-trafficking/


Here are those puppy pictures I promised:

The sisters, and our reaction to the news that we are getting a puppy.

Day 13: With Hannah, I am so blessed to have such amazing people working with me to raise awareness for such a good cause.

My bestest friend Danielle Rice.  She goes to the University of Toledo and is the one who introduced me to One Dress.  I owe everything that is happening down here in Athens (the newspaper article [written by a different Danielle], the project, and the awareness being raised) to the efforts and the compassionate heart of this girl.

And here is a picture of her dress.  YAY for the support of friends!

 

II Corinthians 4:7-9

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Born into a family of big. fat. LIARS!

Okay, so I know I said I'd post on Sunday, and it is now Wednesday.  I lied.  My biggest apology is to my darling cousin Megan, who wanted nothing more than to see her picture up on my blog.  I really don't understand this desire because I hardly ever post anything and people rarely read it.  But nevertheless,  here are the pictures from the girls' Saturday night Homecoming adventures.

While the girls were out dancing and having a grand time, I sat at home and typed things.  Wow, sad.

And yes,  I DO come from a family of hotties.

The soccer star, Katie.  It took a lot of convincing to get her into a dress.

Sister #2: Kristi.

Day 8:  Here's the outfit.  I folded a polo in half and belted it in place.  I think it turned out rather nicely.

Darling Megan,  this is her second homecoming dance this fall.

All five girls:  Me, Megan, Kristi, Katie, and other cousin Chelsea (who came up to help with hair, makeup, etc.)

The three dance-goers

That twig is surprisingly heavy.  I'm struggling.

And this picture was just too adorable to not go on here.  It makes me happy just looking at it.

 The day after the dance, Sunday, we woke up SUPER early to head back to Athens.  All six of us (Mom, Dad, Katie, Kristi, Megan, and I)  piled into our tiny CRV and headed to Findlay first to drop off Megan.

I would just like to point out that I should have been suspicious.  My Dad and Uncle Bob had some kind of secret conversation when we dropped off Megan, and I had NO idea why both of my sisters had to travel 8 hours in the car to drop me off at school.

Anyway, the car ride was cramped and boring.  When my Mom pulled off the highway in Zanesville, I was very confused.  She had some absurd desire to tour the countryside to "see the fall leaves."  When Dad started looking for a specific address to stop at, I knew something was going on.

Eventually, we pulled up to a house.  (It was at this moment I realized what was happening).  Dad walked up to the door after telling us to "stay in the car." (creepy, right?)  A woman with a small child answered the door and motioned us inside. 

She then told us we could just go right into the basement.  And I'm thinking, I don't want to go into your basement, I've never seen you in my life.  But we ventured forth, and there in the basement of this stranger's house was a litter of puppies. 

Yes, you read that correctly, puppies.  I AM GETTING A PUPPY!!!!!

They were only a week old, so by the end of the quarter the little addition to our family should be able to come home.  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so surprised and am still reeling in excitement.  I don't have pictures of the pups yet, but I'll get some and post them soon(ish).  Sorry in advance for being late.

Here is the rest of my week in pictures.

Day 9:  Puppy Day!  I am SOOOOOOO excited!!!!

Day 10: It's a Monday, gimme a break on the bum look.  It's hard to wear sweatpants with a dress.

Day 11:  Walking to Sycamore Place with Maggie to get info about apartments.  We found leaves.  I love leaves.  I actually put a slightly longer black dress over my project black dress... cool, right?

Day 12:  Nothing interesting here,  I added the belt to make myself look less bum-ish for this picture.

There's no place like home

"In the modest, Midwestern city of Toledo, Ohio, cousins and best friends Cara and Stacy went out one May afternoon for a frosty. It began to rain, and a woman driving a white Lincoln Continental pulled alongside the girls. The man in the passenger seat looked familiar; the girls thought he was a friend's father. The girls asked, and the man claimed he was who they thought, and offered them a ride.

Like many trusting teens, the girls had no thoughts that someone would be out do do them harm in their quite suburban neighborhood. Unfortunately, the man was not their friend's father, but a human trafficker named Derick Willoughby.

"Their 10 days in captivity amounted to a crash course in the business of forced sex. They were given clothes and fake identities, and were taken to hotels around Toledo and forced to perform sex acts. An adult always watched and collected payment. Cara and Stacy learned quickly not to cry or speak without permission. When one girl broke a rule, they told authorities, it was her cousin who took the beating."

Traffickers and pimps are master manipulators, and they understand what it takes to keep each girl in line. Sometimes it's promises of love, sometimes it's rape, and sometimes it's beating the girl's friend instead of her. It's the reality of trafficking of children in the U.S."

http://news.change.org/stories/a-crash-course-in-sex-cara-and-staceys-true-story-of-slavery

Reading stories like this I feel like my heart breaks just a little bit more.  Why is a business that deals in the exploitation of children so overlooked?  Why are people who treat children in such a deplorable manner not punished more harshly?  Not only does my inability to answer these questions sadden me, it infuriates me.  

When I first read something like this, I feel useless and sad.  I think, "this is so terrible,  especially because there's not much I can do."  Then I feel angry, "Why does this happen? and, Emily, of course there's something you can do!" 

Looking at stories like this, I find I look more at the "supply" for the "business."  I read the stories, I tear up a little, I put on my dress, and I move on.   I pity the "supply," I pity the girls. 

But my question is: "Why is there a demand?"  How can a person live with themselves knowing that they found pleasure in sexually forcing themselves upon a child? 

Ah the joys of Toledo....

Speaking (or should I say "typing"?) of which... I am home for the weekend.  My sisters are at their homecoming dance tonight.  I, being the wonderful big sister that I am, came up from Athens for the occasion.  Pictures to come tomorrow.

But here is the rest of my week in pictures....

Day 5:  With the "other" Emily.  She too is participating in ONE Dress.  Emily's, unite!

The tights courtesy of my lovable roommate...

Day 6:  Trying to change up "the pose"

Day 7:  Creepin' around with Katie, we're very loving sisters... bwahaha!!  I'm so glad that I'm finally home.

Both Katie and Kristi, and a better view of "the dress"

Five days later....

Hello world!  I AM alive, although you wouldn't know it with all the activity that's been on this page.

Unfortunately, I've been feeling really sick and have had a terribly sore throat for the last couple of days.  That, paired with my amazing ability to avoid doing "work," means I have not posted anything about my experience with "the dress" thus far.  For that reason, I'm going to go through the last five days as quickly as possible while I lie here pathetically on my futon and wait for my thermometer to tell me that I don't have a fever. (As a side note, I wish I did have a fever because then I would have an excuse to avoid class)

So, I started "the project" October 1st (Saturday) in Greenfield, away from campus, at my aunt's house.  Playing with my younger cousins is always a good stress reliever; they smother me in the attention I so desperately crave.  Sadly, I think the little rugrats are the reason I'm now attempting to perform a tonsillectomy in the mirror with a flashlight and a dull blade. 

Here are some pictures to prove that I have been wearing "the dress:"

Saturday Day 1:  I wanted to get a picture of me in just the dress.  However, I ended up throwing on jeans and a sweater because it was SO COLD and I had to sit outside at Zach's soccer game.

"Emily, let's get a picture of us making funny faces!"

"Wait!  Emily, you're wearing that dress for a WHOLE month?"  "yes."  "ok!  Let's make confused faces!"

Day 2: After church, Kenzie threw herself on the ground because I "never listen to ANYTHING [she says]."  Haley and I responded with shocked expressions because we had no idea what else to do... laughing would be mean. 

P.S. Do you like how my hair kind of forms a beard under my chin?  I do.

Day 2:  At Kid's Cove (Sunday evening Children's Church)  I had my Aunt Becky take a picture of this outfit.  My roommate calls it the "Peter Pan" outfit.  If only I had green leggings....

Day 3:  My "contemplating the Amish life" look.  I forgot to take the picture on Monday, so I changed into this the next day and asked Maggie (my roommate) to snap the picture.

Day 4:  Then I changed back into my Tuesday outfit.  I actually went to my dance class dressed like this.  For the record, dancing in a dress and leggings is a little weird.

P.S. In case you can't tell, I am feeling really yucky in the two pictures above. 

And this is what happens if I let Maggie hold my camera for two minutes while I change.  Trust me, 50 pictures later, I learned my lesson.

By the way, she's not insane, she's just spunky.